#3

So long story short Anthony stayed for 7 weeks and we had our ups and downs. We had questions about what would happen after he left and I had hope we would just continue what we had started. But thats not what happened.
I remember the day he left, I could keep my tears in all day, and driving to the airport was hell. Here I was taking someone I cared very deeply for to the airport, where he would leave me and probably never come back. I wished I could miss the turn off and keep driving, wherever we ended up would have been better than what happened. I remember the things we did on the way to the airport, the car was virtually silent all the way there until we were about 20 minutes away and then he decided to play a song for me and my cat, classic Anthony. When we got to the airport I was so sick to my stomach, I thought I loved him but I knew I couldn't tell him because of how complicated it would make things. He got out of the car, got his luggage, and we had one last kiss before we had to say goodbye. We both agreed that the summer on 2010 was a summer that wouldn't be forgotten and that we would stay in touch. One last hug and as we said our final goodbye we both had teary eyes and then he walked away. Didn't even glance back at me. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt.
I'm literally sitting here crying thinking about it all over again. It was horrible.
So I pulled away from the curb at the airport and fell apart. My hear broke, and I didn't think it would ever be repaired. I called my mom and all I could say was "He's gone." In my heart it was more than that, I knew he was gone but I felt like he was never coming back and just knew he didn't feel the same way I felt. I got lost on the way back home because my head was reeling. I definitely count that day as the worst day of my life.
We didn't talk for a few days and then out of the blue he sent me a Facebook message asking how a recent job interview had gone, so I responded and got a message back a few days later. This message blew me away, he talked about the job interview for a little bit but then he went into how this summer had meant more to him than I would ever know. He got back home and watched on of the movies we had watched together that summer and both really enjoyed, when he watched it he said thats when it hit him that I wasn't there and he missed me so much. I couldn't believe what I was reading. This whole summer I thought he hadn't liked me that way at all, yet I kept pursuing him. Turns out I must have been doing something right. We kept writing each nearly every day for a solid 2 months.
During those two months I went into a state of sadness, because I missed him so much. Not mopey but if I was ever alone (which was a lot at work) its all I could think about. Those letters were all I looked forward to and all I needed to make my day a little brighter. I kept all those letters in a binder and I read the first one all the time.

#2

So Anthony was to go home, all the way back to Canada, and stay there. Right after we clicked, it didn't seem fair. Not to mention that I really thought he was as interested in me as I was in him. The night before he was supposed to leave Lacey had a friend over and kind of stuck Anthony with me. So we went outside and looked at the stars, (Not as romantic as it sounds seeing as I was shaking with nerves). We talked about all kinds of things like how growing up a pastors kid was different and how he had lived in as many different houses as I had. He had just moved all around the country instead of the same one-horse town. Then it got quiet, and a little weird. We were out of stuff to talk about...then my phone went off. Surprised I opened it to take a look and Lacey had sent me the text "Has he made a move yet?" and Anthony saw it. I was mortified. Needless to say that wasn't the best way to end the night so we went to bed and I tried to forget about it.
The next day was my first day back to work since Anthony had gotten there. And he was all packed, ready to go, Lacey was going to drive him. When I woke up she was trying to convince him to stay since he had just recently lost his job he didn't have any reason to go back, and I jumped in trying to convince him to stay too. Although my motives were a little different. He kept saying no, that he needed to go back because he didn't want to be a burden and blah blah blah...I was mad. I said goodbye and left to go to work. While I was putting my things in my car he came out of the house and said "Well you could at least give me a proper goodbye." So we hugged, it was obvious he had noticed my cold shoulder. Then he said "and I'm sorry last night was a disappointment, if I lived here things would be different." I wanted to slap him! Here we were giving him a chance to live here for the summer and see how things went. But we couldn't convince him and he left to go to the airport.
While I was at work Lacey was texting me seeing if I could pay for his ticket back if he stayed because he didn't have that much money. So I said yes because I really wanted him to stay. But still he rejected our offer. I was already looking at flight prices at this point because I wanted to see how much they were and see if I really could afford them without having to take out a small loan. Lacey and Anthony were in Dallas by this point and we could not convince him to stay. The next text Lacey sent me was "He's gone :(" I won't lie my stomach turned and I cried a few tears. How could something that seemed so promising be gone just like that.
I continued to text Lacey and tell her how sad I was. So she asked if bringing me McDonalds for dinner would make me feel better, and I can't turn down McDonalds. So then I'm sitting there waiting for Lacey to  come in so I can cry on her shoulder, guess who walks in...ANTHONY! I was so nervous haha he wasn't supposed to be here, and he brought McDonalds so I was happy. Apparently Lacey had pretty much kidnapped Anthony trying to convince him to stay. She says he agreed but he says he never flat out said yes. Guess I'll never know.
This began the best 7 weeks of my life...