#3

So long story short Anthony stayed for 7 weeks and we had our ups and downs. We had questions about what would happen after he left and I had hope we would just continue what we had started. But thats not what happened.
I remember the day he left, I could keep my tears in all day, and driving to the airport was hell. Here I was taking someone I cared very deeply for to the airport, where he would leave me and probably never come back. I wished I could miss the turn off and keep driving, wherever we ended up would have been better than what happened. I remember the things we did on the way to the airport, the car was virtually silent all the way there until we were about 20 minutes away and then he decided to play a song for me and my cat, classic Anthony. When we got to the airport I was so sick to my stomach, I thought I loved him but I knew I couldn't tell him because of how complicated it would make things. He got out of the car, got his luggage, and we had one last kiss before we had to say goodbye. We both agreed that the summer on 2010 was a summer that wouldn't be forgotten and that we would stay in touch. One last hug and as we said our final goodbye we both had teary eyes and then he walked away. Didn't even glance back at me. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt.
I'm literally sitting here crying thinking about it all over again. It was horrible.
So I pulled away from the curb at the airport and fell apart. My hear broke, and I didn't think it would ever be repaired. I called my mom and all I could say was "He's gone." In my heart it was more than that, I knew he was gone but I felt like he was never coming back and just knew he didn't feel the same way I felt. I got lost on the way back home because my head was reeling. I definitely count that day as the worst day of my life.
We didn't talk for a few days and then out of the blue he sent me a Facebook message asking how a recent job interview had gone, so I responded and got a message back a few days later. This message blew me away, he talked about the job interview for a little bit but then he went into how this summer had meant more to him than I would ever know. He got back home and watched on of the movies we had watched together that summer and both really enjoyed, when he watched it he said thats when it hit him that I wasn't there and he missed me so much. I couldn't believe what I was reading. This whole summer I thought he hadn't liked me that way at all, yet I kept pursuing him. Turns out I must have been doing something right. We kept writing each nearly every day for a solid 2 months.
During those two months I went into a state of sadness, because I missed him so much. Not mopey but if I was ever alone (which was a lot at work) its all I could think about. Those letters were all I looked forward to and all I needed to make my day a little brighter. I kept all those letters in a binder and I read the first one all the time.